Not the Resident Evil
by maiveling
Summary: A series of short, random scenes set in the RE universe and in tune with music. No, this does not contain any OC's. UPDATE CHAPTER 2: NOT THE RESIDENT EVIL 5 is up!
1. Set It, Beat It

Author's note: I've seen a lot of these memes, and I decided to try it out. For some songs, I kept the replay button on to finish the scene. I know, it's not supposed to be that way. Heh. But do give it a try.

You may infer who the characters in some scenes are, though it's fairly obvious.

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil/Biohazard and its characters.

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Shadow of Doubt -- Vision of Escaflowne

It was dark. In the distance footsteps could be heard resonating in the damp, moss-filled walls that lay around him. The footsteps quickened in its pace. Now he was running, adrenaline taking its course. He could feel the heat rise; he could smell the stench of decay, of death. He had no time to rest, so he kept moving forward with his gun at hand and his favorite combat knife tucked away. He would find and rescue her, his sister. She didn't need to relive this again. Not again. But she did—they did.

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Hallelujah -- Rammstein

Step. Step. _Step_…

Albert Wesker's patience was wearing thin. He could not seem to find quality men these days, which left him the bothersome task of doing the job himself. Walking down the hallway, he raises his gun and pulls the trigger before any of the poor souls could react. Nothing was to get in his way, and so he just kept walking, casually, as though he owned the place, which he did— every inhabitant now dead. Keeping his pace steady, he finally reaches the coordinate and kicks the door open, revealing a slender figure waiting in the dark.

''Finally,'' she said.

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Breeze -In Monochrome Night- -- Akira Yamaoka

The living dead roamed the streets. It was a nightmare, if you could call it that. However, it wasn't. It was reality. And a man ran through the chaos, lucky enough not to be captured—eaten—by those things called zombies. He would not be caught. Luck was testing him. It was his first day to live through this nightmare. He called himself unlucky for him to chance on such a situation. On the contrary, he was predestined for it. It was the start of his career, a veteran, for he was Leon S. Kennedy. It was his fate.

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Sora's theme -- Escaflowne Movie (3x)

Cl x Ws

A blue sky passes over the woman. She was resting. The clouds breeze through with the wind. Her hair as silky as the finest robes she wore flows with it. The grass moves as a vast green sea. The scent of sweet lavender is carried with the breeze. It was her little paradise in a society that bore no place for her. Suddenly, a crunch disrupts the peace. It was coming closer, to the sleeping figure whose body has seemingly blended with the scenery. It stops just inches before her. It tries to graze her soft, pale skin, but she awakens. Slowly, carefully, blue orbs open to the world. Her eyes gaze at the man staring longingly at her. And she smiles.

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Alone in the Town -- Akira Yamaoka (3x)

''Onwards, onwards…'' chants the marksman.

It was his job to protect the innocent. In the streets, murderers, rapists, humans—or rather— monsters whose minds were as vile and wicked as the entity of the devil roamed the nights. He was on patrol, and now he was chasing yet another murderer in the alleys. ''_God_, how long will this go on?'' he curses at himself. The murderer meets a dead end. The marksman catches his breath and loses sight of him. Swiftly, a knife flies in his line of sight. He dodges it, barely slicing his cheek. The murderer lunges at him, but his advance cannot match the skills and intense training the marksman had experienced over the years. With brutal blows, the skilled man brings the man down, and with no remorse, breaks the murderer's neck.

''Onwards…'' he sighs.

_Onwards._

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Girls on Film -- Duran Duran (2x)

''What ARE you wearing?'' asks Leon as his eyes stare questioningly at the being that is Luis Sera. They were in a barnyard, which was normal, really, considering their predicament, and they were standing amidst the hay and filthy brown. _He said he has something to show me.._. For a moment, Leon ponders his reasoning.

''Ah, you still don't know? I thought you'd have figured my… tastes long ago,'' says the man wearing a frilly, loose shirt which, sadly, shows the chest hairs that match the curls of his attire. To compliment his look, Leon thought, he was wearing tight, suede pants and hideously pointed shoes. ''Oh, but only you can see it for _this_ was meant for _you_,'' says Luis with a hint of malice.

''Oh my god. Hell no,'' Leon adds as he runs off, the Spaniard following suit.

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Stay with You -- Fahrenheit (2x)

Cl x Ws

''You said that I was special. You said that I was the only one who could change you. And I did. I'm the only one who would want you, who would accept you. W-why are you doing this?'' asked the redhead, tears blurring her vision.

''You should know the answer to that, dear heart,'' replied the stern man.

''Then why are you leaving? You can't go with them!'' shouted Claire Redfield who was now kneeling, her body in submission. Her red hair was a mess, and she couldn't dare look up at the man before her for what he has done to her. He had brought her to his side. She had given up the rest of her life because of him. The people she loved were gone, and now the only man she had was going to give himself to them. Albert Wesker looked at her behind his sunglasses. His mouth was in a clear frown. He could not dare say his reason. It would make him look weak, a characteristic that no one can describe him with.

''Farewell, dear heart.''

He departed and walked towards his death. They would get him, but they would spare her. He made a deal with the devil, and now the devil wanted it back. He would give up his power just for her. He loved her, but he would never say it.

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	2. Not the Resident Evil 5

**Author's note: It's meant to be a mix of satire and humor, with a bit of crack here and there. The shuffled song in tune with (but discontinued halfway) is ''I'm Not Okay'' by My Chemical Romance. **

**Spoiler warning: This event takes place in one of those RE5 previews. **

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**Not the Resident Evil 5**

by: maiveling

In the middle of Kijuju, Chris Redfield was surrounded by hundreds of zombies, las plagas, majini, or whatever new, cool names Capcom would give them. Un-luckily his partner, Sheva Alomar, was nowhere to be seen.

''Thanks,'' replied Chris dryly to no one in particular.

The bold marksman was years older than he was before, and his new job at BSAA did nothing to enhance the slim figure his co-workers raved about, albeit the free happy pills they had given to him. His new assignment promised him cake, but unfortunately he had to save the world first.

The zombies held axes, knives, pipes, wooden planks, chainsaws, flamethrowers, submachine guns, hell, anything you could think of. When Chris assumed that they would attack altogether, he braced himself for impact, and of course, death. However, they surprisingly didn't! They attacked in bundles of about ten, perhaps more or perhaps less, and so the ever-enhanced and muscular Chris beat the crap out of them easily. Really!

Oh, but the zombies were not done yet. Just when Chris was showing all that vein and muscle in big, sweaty glory in his feat of victory, a zombie just like the chainsaw Ganado in Four appeared. It cued another cut scene!

Chris knew he was a goner, but ''[he] would at least die with a fight,'' he thought out loud. Swarms of zombies appeared and the chainsaw zombie was fast approaching. ''Hey, that's not fair!'' shouted Chris who was being attacked by the zombies spawning out of the buildings. Of course it wouldn't be fair, these zombies are X times smarter! He had to do something to save ammo and his butt, pronto! Luckily this time, barrels of oil were conveniently placed for him. He tested his luck and fired at one barrel, only to waste it on a single zombie.

''Aw, shit,'' cursed the man. When he got the hang of his so-called plan, he routinely shot barrels and punched random zombies. For minutes this continued on. Just when he was about to kill the chainsaw zombie using his last bullet on the last barrel, his partner appeared!

''Chris!'' shouted Sheva who blocked the barrel he was about to shoot. ''Look out!'' The chainsaw zombie crept closer without him knowing for he WAS distracted by her arrival. ''Fuck,'' breathed Chris before he was beheaded with the chainsaw.

And the caption 'You Are Dead' flashed ominously on the screen.

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**THE BEGINNING.**

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**a/n: Originally, this story was to start with Chris supposedly having to fend himself countless numbers of times from hoards of zombies from present to past RE time periods; hence, the song ''I'm Not Okay'' fit it well. However, midway the song was discarded and the RE5 scene was kept. So, what do you think? R&R if you may.**


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